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Frequently Asked Questions
Q: I am attracted to a woman in my English class and am afraid to ask her out because I don't know if she will be attracted to me. What should I do? Female, Senior
A: As in any relationship, a person must often take risks to move forward. Assuming this woman is a lesbian, I suggest you find ways to get to know her a little better around class time before pursuing something outside the classroom. Possibly arriving early, sitting next to her in class, or catching her on the way out of class can provide time to get to know her a little better and give you more information about how "available" she is in terms of dating. Should she turn down your offer for a date, please do not take it personally. She may just have other commitments or interests at this time.

Q: What or who can people turn to when they are having problems coming out as gay or lesbian or just need support? Male, Senior
A: Unlike some other minority groups, many universities do not have a person officially appointed to deal specifically with gay/lesbian issues. However, most counseling centers provide services for "sexual issues" - which include orientation. In addition, if you are interested in talking with other gay/lesbian students, contact your campus gay/lesbian organization, which provides a number of supportive, educational, and social activities. Also, you may find support on the Internet, since there are many websites geared for gay and lesbian people.

Q: As a gay student, I'm tired of hearing people assume everyone is straight. It makes it hard for me to "come out" and tell anyone about who I am - even to my friends. At times, I feel isolated and left out. Are people so narrow-minded that they don't think anyone is gay or are they just homophobic? Male, Junior
A: It's hard to say what might be going on. Heterosexism, the assumption that everyone is or should be heterosexual, is a prevalent bias in our culture; homophobia is defined as an intense dislike or fear of gay men and lesbian women, as well as the fear of being perceived as homosexual. I would not assume that your friends are intentionally meaning to alienate you. It may be that they are not aware of what you view as their heterosexism. If you feel comfortable, I encourage you to talk with your close friends about this. I also suggest you get in touch with the gay/lesbian student group. They may be able to offer you the support you are looking for.




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